| Sending a signal... |
[Jul. 20th, 2008|11:25 am] |
Something has come up recently that has forced me to think about and
articulate the difference in how I perceive occasional cigar smoking
and the habit of cigarette smoking.
This is within the context of having kids and having to be in the
position of having to be the arbitrator of what they're exposed to.
Capable or not I am one of the people who must lead them though
experiencing the world. The end goals being to get them to be able to
operate independently, handle whatever the world throws at them and be
able to help others.
The difference, I've recently come to realize is: it's the signal that
each one sends.
Seeing a person decide to smoke a cigar at the end of the day, after
most activity is over sends a certain signal. It is something which
is done out of the context of normal daily activity. It is something
that can wait, it can be delayed, it is optional.
Seeing a person stop all activity to step outside to take themselves
away to smoke a cigarette sends a signal. A kid will see this adult
decide that what they are about to do is more important than playing
another game, more important than starting on desert, than watching
the movie, than being with the kid for those five minutes.
The cigarette smoker is compelled to smoke, while the (typical) cigar
smoker is not.
Kids pick up on what is important to the adults in their lives, its a
necessary part of how they learn about the world. The compulsory
behavioral traits that I exhibit in front of my kids seem to be the
things which are most influential. I can tell them that brushing
their teeth is good for them, but unless they see me do it,
consistently, no amount of saying it to them causes the value to
transfer. At least not at about 5 years of age.
I've become more and more aware of the signal that I send in a lot of
contexts. Having children has made many of these signals much more
apparent. |
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